DBZ Texts from Last Night

dbztextsfromlastnight: (567): Haha, apparently they frown upon...

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 22:20:36 -0400

dbztextsfromlastnight:

(567):

Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn’t catch me tho.

(908): He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 20:39:24 -0400

(908):

He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.

dbztextsfromlastnight: (310): we’ve had our differences but...

Thu, 31 May 2012 22:21:00 -0400

dbztextsfromlastnight:

(310):

we’ve had our differences but let’s set them aside, go home and fuck

(605): Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is...

Thu, 31 May 2012 20:33:39 -0400

(605):

Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.

dbztextsfromlastnight: (541): I was having trouble getting it...

Wed, 30 May 2012 22:11:59 -0400

dbztextsfromlastnight:

(541):

I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said “no, it’s too big to fail”

(623): Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs....

Wed, 30 May 2012 00:19:51 -0400

(623):

Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they’re just too beautiful not to.

dbztextsfromlastnight: (717): Youll never guess who has to go...

Tue, 29 May 2012 22:39:02 -0400

dbztextsfromlastnight:

(717):

Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom

(720): Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my...

Tue, 29 May 2012 00:13:34 -0400

(720):

Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.

dbztextsfromlastnight: (705): Well, I wanted to be you for...

Mon, 28 May 2012 22:35:38 -0400

dbztextsfromlastnight:

(705):

Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn’t fit seven dicks in my mouth.

(916): She said she liked strap-ons. (1-916): SHE WAS TALKING...

Mon, 28 May 2012 00:16:01 -0400

(916):

She said she liked strap-ons.

(1-916):

SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU’RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!

dbztextsfromlastnight: (812): Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5....

Sun, 27 May 2012 22:35:30 -0400

dbztextsfromlastnight:

(812):

Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.

(845): You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.

Sun, 27 May 2012 00:18:25 -0400

(845):

You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.

dbztextsfromlastnight: (704): I got so high last night I...

Sat, 26 May 2012 22:28:42 -0400

dbztextsfromlastnight:

(704):

I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn’t stop thinking about how scary space is

Submitted by the amazing sexystrifebullshit, thank you Rose!

Sat, 26 May 2012 00:17:37 -0400

Submitted by the amazing sexystrifebullshit, thank you Rose!

dbztextsfromlastnight: (646): HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS....

Fri, 25 May 2012 22:35:34 -0400

dbztextsfromlastnight:

(646):

HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.

(256): She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for...

Fri, 25 May 2012 00:21:33 -0400

(256):

She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.

dbztextsfromlastnight: (916): Don’t bite the hand that gives...

Thu, 24 May 2012 22:41:24 -0400

dbztextsfromlastnight:

(916):

Don’t bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms

(850): She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her...

Thu, 24 May 2012 00:21:22 -0400

(850):

She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation… i think they are next

dbztextsfromlastnight: (816): dude sorry about putting my...

Wed, 23 May 2012 22:41:17 -0400

dbztextsfromlastnight:

(816):

dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine

(631): His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets

Wed, 23 May 2012 00:21:30 -0400

(631):

His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets