dbztextsfromlastnight:

(310):
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
dbztextsfromlastnight:

(850):
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
dbztextsfromlastnight:

(517):
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can’t take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
dbztextsfromlastnight:

(970): 
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Submitted by the hilarious cosmicmewtwo, thank you!
dbztextsfromlastnight:


(708):
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
dbztextsfromlastnight:

 
(713):
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
dbztextsfromlastnight:

(308):
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
dbztextsfromlastnight:

(210):
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn’t happen to know anything about that would you?
dbztextsfromlastnight:

 
(210):
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don’t say I never loved you.
dbztextsfromlastnight:

Submitted by the amazing timeskips!
dbztextsfromlastnight:

(714):
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it’s worth the entertainment value.
dbztextsfromlastnight:

(567):
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn’t catch me tho.
dbztextsfromlastnight:


(770):
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That’s how I know your not gay.
dbztextsfromlastnight:

(816):
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes…I’m ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock…
(1-816):
Yeah…we all know. it’s the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
(816):
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
dbztextsfromlastnight:


(416):
He’s like Medusa, you can’t look directly into his eyes or you’ll turn into a slut.
DBZ TFLN